Archive for the ‘Consultants’ Category

Well, Great, Glad You’re Right on Top of This

Blonde receptionist: Do you have any Krazy Glue?
Paralegal: I don’t think so. Why?
Blonde receptionist: My tooth fell out.
Paralegal: I think you need to see a dentist.
Blonde receptionist: No, my teeth are always falling out and I just Krazy Glue them back in.
Paralegal: Krazy Glue? Maybe that’s why you’ve been getting all those headaches…
Blonde receptionist: No, that’s because I quit smoking back in February.

Law office
Great Neck, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

The Cow Was Found to Be Negligent

Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.
Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.
Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a little too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.
Lawyer #2: You were just too proximate.

401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas

Why the President Has a Press Secretary

CSR interrupting production meeting: Hey, sorry, but Dan* from XYZ company wants to know when he can expect his job.
Tech supervisor, screaming: Tell him when hell fucking freezes over! Jesus! I’m fucking tired of these pushy customers! And their shitty little jobs!
CSR: Okay… That’s uh… He’s uh… standing right over there…
Tech supervisor: [Stunned silence.]Boss: Well, you can go take care of that one, buddy… He’s all yours.

1st Avenue South
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Mouth opened, foot inserted