Lawyer #1: I can’t wait to get rid of those cows.
Lawyer #2: I thought you liked your cows.
Lawyer #1: Well, I did, but then one of them got a little too close and now I have a large bruise on my right thigh.
Lawyer #2: You were just too proximate.
401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas
CSR interrupting production meeting: Hey, sorry, but Dan* from XYZ company wants to know when he can expect his job.
Tech supervisor, screaming: Tell him when hell fucking freezes over! Jesus! I’m fucking tired of these pushy customers! And their shitty little jobs!
CSR: Okay… That’s uh… He’s uh… standing right over there…
Tech supervisor: [Stunned silence.]Boss: Well, you can go take care of that one, buddy… He’s all yours.
1st Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Mouth opened, foot inserted
Creative designer to secretary: I only have two dollars to go to Hooters tonight. Do you know where the petty cash is hidden so that I can borrow some money?
Ardice Avenue
Eustis, Florida
Overheard by: serena
Music agent slamming phone down angrily: God, he’s so unintelligent! I mean, even for a tenor!
1st District
Vienna
Austria
Market researcher, frustrated at client: I don’t have auto pilot Las Vegas porn attendance statistics in my brain!
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Office peon: It’s amazing what delicacies you can find hidden within the bush.
5757 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Retired lawyer: I’m just buried under these law documents.
Boss: Wait, are you practicing law without a license?
Retired lawyer: No, without knowledge.
2550 Q Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: C Dubz
Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don’t look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?
25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut
News editor: I’ve already passed the high point of my day where I mute Regis and Kelly.
101 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: an amused underling
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland