Market researcher, frustrated at client: I don’t have auto pilot Las Vegas porn attendance statistics in my brain!
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Archive for the ‘Consultants’ Category
When Let’s Go Travel Writers Talk Dirty
Office peon: It’s amazing what delicacies you can find hidden within the bush.
5757 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
You’re Supposed to Read Them, Not Use Them As a Blanket
Retired lawyer: I’m just buried under these law documents.
Boss: Wait, are you practicing law without a license?
Retired lawyer: No, without knowledge.
2550 Q Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: C Dubz
1PM Lunch
Secretary: You look kind of like Bill Gates.
Specialist: I don’t look dorky enough.
Secretary: How dorky do you not think you look?
25 Sigourney Street
Hartford, Connecticut
But They’re Starting to Learn to Chew through Their Gags
News editor: I’ve already passed the high point of my day where I mute Regis and Kelly.
101 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: an amused underling
Oh, Stop Sucking Up
Executive: If I had to use that, my arm would fall off!
Scientist: This coming from the guy with the largest disposable pipette!
Rockland, Maryland
Some Lives May Be Better Unexamined
Canadian arborist: Check it out. I can streamline the camera in the town square back at home in Brandon. I called my dad and told him to drive by and wave. Sometimes, if you watch long enough, you can see someone crash.
Westchester, New York
Should Have Just Used Duct Tape
Receptionist: … And let me just tell you, those at-home wart freezers do not work on your poonani.
Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Glad I wore my space suit
I Could Have Stayed Home and Done That
Visiting consultant: I think we saw every public restroom in San Francisco. Just what I wanted — a urine-filled holiday.
5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
9AM Back to Work
Analyst #1: We need something to make this tea better.
Analyst #2: Have you tried rum?
10 minutes later.
Analyst #1: Do you have any more rum?
Analyst #3: It’s ten in the morning.
225 High Ridge Road
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: QRC