Archive for the ‘Connecticut’ Category

At the Very Least, I Was Huff­ing Cough Syrup

Guy #1: If you lost my knife, so help me god you owe me $14.99. Plus ship­ping and han­dling.
Guy #2: Okay, so…we’ll just deduct that from the eighty bucks you al­ready owe me?
Guy #1: Statute of lim­i­ta­tions. That bet was, like, five months ago.
Guy #2: Yeah, and we agreed that you’d owe me in­ter­est if you did­n’t pay me…
Guy #1 (in­cred­u­lous): In­ter­est? Was I *drunk*?
Guy #2: Well, it was at 8 am on a Tues­day. So you nev­er know.

Stam­ford, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: Dave Eu­gene

In­ter­net: I’m So Lone­ly– No­body Ever Calls

Su­per­vi­sor on speak­er­phone: Hold on a sec, I’ve got an­oth­er call. Hel­lo, this is Mark*.
Caller: Yes, am I in the right place?
Su­per­vi­sor: I don’t know, who were you try­ing to reach?
Caller: Is this the num­ber for the in­ter­net?
Su­per­vi­sor: No, I’m sor­ry, this is a state agency.
Caller: This is­n’t the in­ter­net?
Su­per­vi­sor: Nope, sor­ry.
Caller: Oh, darn, okay bye.
Su­per­vi­sor (back to the oth­er line): Well, that was a first.

New­ing­ton, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: but please give it my re­gards. I’m a huge fan.

An­oth­er Rea­son Not to Take Ad­vice from Peo­ple with Footwear Is­sues

Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it’s me. Am I go­ing to see you at the club tonight, or are you stay­ing home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class sched­ule? So now you’re tak­ing gym in­stead of busi­ness law? Ter­rif­ic! That’s great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.

New Haven, Con­necti­cut

Over­heard by: who calls their son