Accounting girl, walking into the lunchroom: Hey, it smells really good in here!
Project manager: Yeah that's cause I farted.
Calgary
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category
Made from 100% USDA Grade A Cops
Temp: All the food here is good, especially the bacon. I mean, this is real bacon, not the kind you buy at the store.
Culinary school
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: I’m surrounded by idiots
Tough Talk for a Guy With Barrettes in His Chest Hair
Front desk agent: Oh, I forgot. I am Jack Martin*. I am too masculine and my chest is too hairy to let your dainty, girl hands touch my project.
Austin, Texas
I'm under a Lot Of Pressure to Look Good.
Always medicated coworker: So John*, are you feeling better today?
John: Yes, thanks. By the way, your hair looks nice today.
Always medicated coworker: Yeah, I think it's the sinus infection.
Broadview Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: PrincessButtercup
12PM Planning Meeting
Worker #1: So did I answer your question?
Worker #2: No, but you entertained me.
242 West 36th Street
New York, NY
9AM Back to Work
Analyst #1: We need something to make this tea better.
Analyst #2: Have you tried rum?
10 minutes later.
Analyst #1: Do you have any more rum?
Analyst #3: It’s ten in the morning.
225 High Ridge Road
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: QRC
Really Brings Me Back to My Gay Orgy Days…
Coworker to another: We're a fucking team here, asshole!
The Woodlands, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
1PM Lunch
Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Melissa Miller
But It's Not Unethical? Sweet!
Boss: That's a great idea! Why didn't we think of that before? Wait… Is that legal?
Office manager: No.
Boss, hanging head: Awwwww…
Sarasota, Florida
How Does One Judge a Kegel Exercise Contest?
Woman #1: Maybe it fell out because her vagina had no…tone.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #3: Right, no Kegel’s.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Right, you are supposed to do Kegel’s all day.
Woman #2: Since when?
Woman #1: From when you are 20. Or have a lot of sex.
Woman #3: I’d rather have a lot of sex than do Kegel’s, but I do them, too.
Woman #2: What? My vagina is fine without either one. Don’t tell my husband that, either.
Woman #3: You’ll be sorry when you are older.
Woman #1: You never did Kegel’s? We used to have contests at my other job.
Only man in the meeting walks in.
Woman #2: Well! What do men have to do?
Woman #3, smiling sweetly: Nothing. Men are perfect.
Bergen County, New Jersey