Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.
S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
My Head Just Exploded.
Woman describing new car: It’s like the Cadillac of cars!
Providence, Rhode Island
So I’ll Be Out Of Work for a While
Coworker: It was so good I licked my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Why Gay Porn Stars Are So Healthy
Gay hairstylist: But people who have anal don’t get prostrate cancer…
Manager: They only get hemorrhoids.
Gay hairstylist: That’s true, after a while it looks like a cauliflower. But, anyway, we do not get prostate cancer, because the cock acts like a massage therapist.
Manager: Riiiiight!
Sao Paulo
Brazil
Why the Company Lacks Diversity: Explained
Boss: The black one is almost 88% bigger, but the yellow one is more efficient.
Coworker: Let’s just stick with the white ones, it’s simple and we know how they work.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Grip Strength, Too
Peon: Here, let me do it. My forearms are stronger — I’m not married.
Harmony Avenue
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: nightmare1970
Imagine Being Loved With All One’s Default Settings Unchanged
Co-worker #1: We all have icky hairy things.
Co-worker #2: I shave mine.
Co-worker #3: I tried that once, but kept hunching the corners of desks.
Co-worker #1: Okay, so some of us have icky hairy things.
Washington Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
…And Said, “I Think I Lava You”
Professor: For example, say I give this woman a hundred-dollar bill… No, that’s not a good example. Say I give her a mug of hot lava…
Stevens Tech
Hoboken, New Jersey
…If I Imagine They’re All About to Blow Up
20-something receptionist, commenting on cutesy photo of boy and dog praying: You know, I don’t really like kids, animals or god, but that photo’s okay.
Mill Valley, California
…According to the Latest Polling Data from a Random Sample Of Blind People.
Elderly lady patient: My eyebrows are growing back. I look like Drew Barrymore.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
