Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category

It's a Lucky Drunk Who Has Not Just an Enabler, but a Cheerleader

Tourist woman: You know, honey, you should drink more. We're at a high elevation. You don't drink enough.
Visibly drunk tourist man: What are you talking about? I drink all the time! I drink a ton. I was just drinking… It's just not water.

Old Faithful Village
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming

Overheard by: a ranger who is wondering why she works here

Wouldn't a Three-way with Cougars and Dogs Be Criminal?

Young female coworker #1: Oh, so I guess there's a criminal on the loose in Arlington Heights.
Older female coworker: Better not leave any little dogs out.
Young female coworker #2: What?
Young female coworker #1: Oh, he might take 'em. He even looks like a criminal.
Older female coworker: Wait, you said “cougar,” right?
Young female coworker #2: Why would a cougar want a little dog?
Young female coworker #1: I said “criminal”!
Young female coworker #2: Oh, you mean the animal, not a woman!
(they laugh)
Young female coworker #1: Wow, that was the most misinterpreted conversation ever!
Older female coworker: Three way!!
Young female coworker #1: Again… Wow!

Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois

Overheard by: Dying in a Cubicle