Female coworker: The only way a woman can make it in the industry is if she has huge boobs!
Male coworker: Hey, guys need to have large nuts to make it.
Vancouver
BC
Canadia
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
…Let Us Never Speak Of This Conversation Again.
Office woman #1: I'm like a Japanese girl. I like everything tiny.
Office woman #2: Everything?
Office woman #1: Yes, I like everything to be tiny.
Office woman #2: Well, I like things to be a nice size.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Sit Tight– This Conversation Could Go on All. Friggin. Day.
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Every Angelina Jolie Movie: Encapsulated.
30-something redhead to older male lunch companion: I'm kind of disgusted with my current job in law enforcement. I'm thinking of a career change to either a highly-paid call girl or an assassin.
Older male lunch companion: Well, you're awesome at sex, and you *do* know how to kill people…
Restaurant
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
This Conversation Could Be the Beginning Of a Beautiful Friendship.
PA #1: I have a thing for military sci-fi.
PA #2: I mean, who doesn't?
(later)
PA #1: Predator is a classic. It's like Casablanca.
Manhattan, New York
Amazing How Much a Gal Can Fit in Her Flash Drive
IT guy #1, looking at coworker's computer: Yep… We got porn!
IT guy #2: Are you surprised?
IT guy #1: No, not really.
Receptionist, passing by: Oh my god! That's not a dildo, that's an act of war!
Chicago, Illinois
You’re Less Fun Every Time I Talk to You
Co-worker #1: Man! Sasha* is on the phone every time I go over there to talk to her.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, you’re right! She is! You know who else is on the phone a lot? Latoya*.
Co-worker #1: … She’s the receptionist…
Tysons Corner, Virginia
Male Pattern Baldness Can Be So Awkward
Self-conscious colleague: Oh, I don't look very nice!
Supportive colleague: Yes, you do. Let me look (pause) No, you look like a dickhead.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Like That One Time at Andy Dick's House
Worker getting up from corner of a desk: Oh my god, I think I sat on a nerve… My penis is numb! You know the technique “the stranger” where you sit on your hand?
Coworker: Yeah.
Numb worker: This is the opposite of that, it's like I have someone else's penis in my pants right now.
168th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
The Body Of Christ, for Instance.
Boss: (reaches for candy from office candy jar)
Subordinate: Don't eat the chocolate bunny candies, those things are creepy.
Boss: I've put weirder things in my mouth.
Manhattan, New York