Coworker: Dude, what’s the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo’s, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale’s good for something.
Manhattan, New York
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
I Think Bill O’Reilly’s Sticking to TV This Election
Sales guy #1: I’m worried about the primaries. I mean, if Obama runs, I would vote for him over the Republicans.
Sales guy #2: Sure.
Sales guy #1: If Hillary runs, I would vote for Satan over her.
Bonner Springs, Kansas
…When I Was Going for Clams Casino
Hot office chick: I look like I smell like fish sticks.
LaGrange, Georgia
Overheard by: Hallway Skank Monitor
Sadly, the Whole Industry’s Stuck in a Sand Trap
Coworker, hanging up: I am the Tiger Woods of mortgage lending.
Portland, Oregon
And She Has Yet to See the Connection
Woman at the copier: I’m not saying she’s a whore, just that she likes penis more than her kids.
Jackson, Tennessee
Aren’t Dong Bongs Illegal in Ohio?
Coworker: It’s so cheesy–the dong. It’s like “here, hit the dong! We’re not giving you a raise, but you get to hit the dong.”
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: MissTW
…So Tell That to the Adoption Agency.
Fire chief to maintenance worker: I need one with a big bottom, so it doesn’t flip over.
Washington State
…Are You As Turned on As I Am?
Male coworker: Dugong! I wonder what dugongs taste like.
Female coworker: Hippos?
Male coworker: Except saltier.
Grahamstown
South Africa
Overheard by: EnvironmentalScientistsAreWeird
Just a Matter of Time for the UN
Young male employee to friend: I mean there’s no strippers in cages or anything, but it looks like it could turn into that kind of place, you know?
Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York
We’re Imagining Perez Hilton As the Awkward Guy
Office girl #1: Ohmigod, did you hear that Sam Ronson broke up with Lindsay Lohan?
Office girl #2: No. No! Where did you read that?
Awkward office guy, from across office: Aaaand this is why I’m better than you!
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
