Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.
Springdale, Arkansas
Archive for the ‘Compare and contrast’ Category
Dear Diary– Told Charlotte How I Feel Today!
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
We Mean No Disrespect to Our Muslim Readers, If We Have Any
Gay coworker #1: The new guy is cute!
Gay coworker #2: I know, huh? Cuter than John or Ryan.
Gay coworker #1: Well, I think John is still number one on my list.
Gay coworker #2: This is why I love coming to work everyday.
Gay coworker #1: Yeaahh…me too! It’s like gay Mecca here!
San Francisco, California
Judging from His Coffee Mug
College secretary: George loved my dip!
College rep: He also likes penis.
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: it’s true
Have You Ever Seen a Horse Slip on a Banana Peel? Disaster
Office peon on phone: … It’s almost like you’re putting the monkey before the horse.
S. Lima Street
Englewood, Colorado
My Head Just Exploded.
Woman describing new car: It’s like the Cadillac of cars!
Providence, Rhode Island
So I’ll Be Out Of Work for a While
Coworker: It was so good I licked my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Why Gay Porn Stars Are So Healthy
Gay hairstylist: But people who have anal don’t get prostrate cancer…
Manager: They only get hemorrhoids.
Gay hairstylist: That’s true, after a while it looks like a cauliflower. But, anyway, we do not get prostate cancer, because the cock acts like a massage therapist.
Manager: Riiiiight!
Sao Paulo
Brazil
Why the Company Lacks Diversity: Explained
Boss: The black one is almost 88% bigger, but the yellow one is more efficient.
Coworker: Let’s just stick with the white ones, it’s simple and we know how they work.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Grip Strength, Too
Peon: Here, let me do it. My forearms are stronger — I’m not married.
Harmony Avenue
Portage, Indiana
Overheard by: nightmare1970
