Archive for the ‘Comebacks’ Category

2PM Work on Pre­sen­ta­tion

Co-work­er #1: So will you give the pre­sen­ta­tion to the new in­take?
Co-work­er #2: No.
Co-work­er #1: Why not?
Co-work­er #2: I have made a per­son­al lifestyle choice not to be help­ful to any­one in the com­pa­ny.

120 Ton­bridge Road
Hilden­bor­ough, Kent
UK

This Is How #2 Gets His Proof­read­ing Done for Free

Cowork­er #1: Have you filed your trav­el vouch­er for that con­fer­ence in In­di­anapo­lis?
Cowork­er #2: Yes.
Cowork­er #1: Let me see your copy so I can fill mine out cor­rect­ly.
Cowork­er #2: Here you go.
Cowork­er #1: Let’s see. You used the year ’05 in­stead of ’06, did not pro­vide departure/arrival times, omit­ted your so­cial se­cu­ri­ty num­ber, and did­n’t to­tal the round trip mileage and mileage re­im­burse­ment columns. Thanks.

4555 Cen­tral Av­enue
Colum­bus, In­di­ana

4PM Com­plete Project

Work­er #1: Wow, that was a tough job.
Work­er #2: Yeah, they should give us some­thing.
Work­er #1: Like a bas­ket?
Work­er #2: Yeah, a bas­ket of ri­fles!

2455 Faber Place
Pa­lo Al­to, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: for meltnbean

I Sug­gest You Glue Your Ass to Your Own Chair

Of­fice drone #1: What’s a fun­nier prank — if I tape the the re­ceiv­er to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the draw­er?
Of­fice drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks point­ed­ly at re­turn­ing boss be­hind drone #1].
Of­fice drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her cof­fee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spew­ing!
Boss, stand­ing right be­hind drone #1: Bitch is be­hind you.

Har­ris Street
Pyr­mont, Syd­ney
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: get back to work!