Does It Mat­ter That It’s a Black Car?

Dis­patch: Got a re­port of a small black car go­ing very fast.
Of­fi­cer: Any oth­er de­scrip­tion be­sides “small black car”?
Dis­patch: It’s go­ing very fast.
Of­fi­cer: Thanks… Over.

Po­lice Scan­ner
Ore­gon

Over­heard by: Mike

…All Over My Chin

Old la­dy: I like them when they’re big and juicy like that.
Old­er la­dy: Yeah, all dark and pur­p­ley, so good.

Del­ran, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Bruce Ban­ner

Re­pub­li­cans Are Al­ready Draw­ing Harsh Com­par­isons to Tin­ky Winky

VP to man­ag­er: I mean, Barack Obama…he’s much more pur­ple than even black.

Franklin, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: Mor­gan

Hah! You Said “In­sert”!

Girl of­fice work­er, point­ing to three-ring binder: Oh! You have a pret­ty pur­ple one!
Male cowork­er: Go ahead and take it.
Girl of­fice work­er: Oh, it?s too small. I need a big pret­ty pur­ple one.
Male cowork­er: In­sert your own joke here.

Philadel­phia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Who’s Do­ing the Sex­u­al Ha­rass­ing Here? Show Your Work.

Fe­male nurse, about new net­book: I guess I have to take this lit­tle pink thing home and test it out.
Male of­fice man­ag­er: Can I watch?

Twin Falls, Ida­ho

Over­heard by: jaekar99

How to Make a Room­ful Of White Peo­ple Fall Silent: En­cap­su­lat­ed

Sole African Amer­i­can la­dy in of­fice: Man! If she sticks her head any far­ther up the boss’ ass, she’ll look like me!

Jean­nette, Penn­syl­va­nia

Raise Your Hand If You Love Wite-Out

Old la­dy #1: They’ll be all “whats that white stuff on yo’ face?“
Old la­dy #2: Just tell ’em it’s White-Out or some­thing…

Del­ran, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Bruce Ban­ner

…We’ve All Seen Your My­Space Pho­tos.

Fe­male cowork­er at of­fice bar­be­cue: I love dark meat.
Male African Amer­i­can cowork­er: That’s cool, girl.

St. Louis, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: Ala­cia

And I Mean, Kevin-Cost­ner-Robin-Hood Em­bar­rasss­ing

Boss, whis­per­ing loud­ly: What is that?
Star­tled em­ploy­ee, in nor­mal voice: It’s my green shirt.
Boss, still whis­per­ing loud­ly: It’s em­bar­rass­ing.

Ful­ton St
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: jus­tan­oth­erblaz­er

But It’s Im­por­tant to Our Re­la­tion­ship That I Share In­ap­pro­pri­ate Facts About Her

New­bie: So Di­ane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Sea­soned work­er: I don’t think they like the term “dirty.“
New­bie: Oh yeah, my girl­friend kin­da likes be­ing called “dirty.“
Sea­soned work­er: I meant the hair col­or.
New­bie: I know!

In­ver­ness Work Plex
Den­ver, Col­orado