Hah! You Said “Insert”!

Girl office worker, pointing to three-ring binder: Oh! You have a pretty purple one!
Male coworker: Go ahead and take it.
Girl office worker: Oh, it?s too small. I need a big pretty purple one.
Male coworker: Insert your own joke here.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Who's Doing the Sexual Harassing Here? Show Your Work.

Female nurse, about new netbook: I guess I have to take this little pink thing home and test it out.
Male office manager: Can I watch?

Twin Falls, Idaho

Overheard by: jaekar99

How to Make a Roomful Of White People Fall Silent: Encapsulated

Sole African American lady in office: Man! If she sticks her head any farther up the boss' ass, she'll look like me!

Jeannette, Pennsylvania

Raise Your Hand If You Love Wite-Out

Old lady #1: They'll be all “whats that white stuff on yo' face?”
Old lady #2: Just tell 'em it's White-Out or something…

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

…We've All Seen Your MySpace Photos.

Female coworker at office barbecue: I love dark meat.
Male African American coworker: That's cool, girl.

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Alacia

And I Mean, Kevin-Costner-Robin-Hood Embarrasssing

Boss, whispering loudly: What is that?
Startled employee, in normal voice: It's my green shirt.
Boss, still whispering loudly: It's embarrassing.

Fulton St
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: justanotherblazer

But It's Important to Our Relationship That I Share Inappropriate Facts About Her

Newbie: So Diane* is the one with dirty blonde hair?
Seasoned worker: I don't think they like the term “dirty.”
Newbie: Oh yeah, my girlfriend kinda likes being called “dirty.”
Seasoned worker: I meant the hair color.
Newbie: I know!

Inverness Work Plex
Denver, Colorado

To Go With My Car-Shopping Outfit

Office bimbette #1: So, I bought a new car last night and I didn't need a guy to help me pick it out or make the deal or anything.
Office bimbette #2: For reals? What kind did of car did you get?
Office bimbette #1: A blue one.

California Street
San Francisco, California

Oh, Like You Did at the Office Holiday Party?

Female coworker #1: So I bought this Tupperware to help wildlife. It comes in different colors and designs. This one has dolphins, and one of the others has monkeys on it.
Female coworker #2, mockingly: You are so fucking queer.
Female coworker #1, shouting: I'll show you fucking queer!

Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: Shocked & Awed

Outside of a Phish Concert

Developer, cleaning out fridge: Wow, I've never seen pink mold before!

Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…