Archive for the ‘Colorado’ Category

There Are Used Vibrators on EBay (Don't Ask How We Know)

Guy: Me and the wife are going out this weekend. You think you could hook me up with…uhh, some happy fun time shit?
Girl: Are you serious? I don't think I have anything you'd like. How do you know what your wife wants?
Guy: What the fuck? She wants weed, end of story!
Girl: Oh, shit! I thought you were talking about sex toys!
Guy: Why the fuck would I ask to borrow someone else's sex toys?
Girl: I…uh…
Guy (smirking): So you have sex toys, huh? What kind?
Girl: Shut up!

Centennial, Colorado

Overheard by: Trouble

And They All Sound Like Chris Rock!

Office peon #1: Last night I had a dream about being attacked by a donkey.
Office peon #2: Oh, I know what your mean: zebras are my Freddy Krueger.
Office peon #1: I know, right? Because they don't even sound like regular fucking horses.
Office peon #2: And they're camouflaged like lightning!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Best Nature Documentary EVER!