Secretary #1: Is your boyfriend coming for Christmas?
Secretary #2: Yeah! He’s in med school in Seattle studying to be an ER doc, so I don’t get to see him much.
Female doctor, just coming into room: Them! Don’t get me started on ER docs!
Secretary #1: Oh?
Doctor: They can’t keep their pants on–and the married ones are worse!
Albany General Hosptial
Albany, Oregon
50-year old guy #1: I don’t want to be here.
50-year old guy #2, passing by: Just shit your pants. Nobody likes working with you if you have shitty pants.
Rocky River, Ohio
Employee: Nice skirt, boss!
Boss: I’m wearing pants.
Anchorage, Alaska
Suit: Okay, so we will have the guy wearing an “I brake for whales” t‑shirt?
Client: Are you aware that whales live in the ocean?
Suit: Yes.
Client: How can someone brake for a whale?
Suit: [Silence.]
175 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ave Chitenmyhair
Office peon to others: What do you do if you’re conjoined twins with only one ass and the other twin keeps farting blood and you want to wear white pants?
Quebec City
Canadia
Overheard by: Frank
Loud office coworker a few cubes over: Why don’t they make a big belt buckle out of it?
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Overheard by: Probably they shouldn’t
Older office drone to younger office drone: Look at yourself. You’re a mess. I know your wife is pregnant, but does that mean she doesn’t know how to iron anymore?
Sleepy Hollow, New York
Overheard by: MSG
Sassy Asian woman: I wish I had my pants on today.
Hudson & Houston
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Boss, whispering loudly: What is that?
Startled employee, in normal voice: It’s my green shirt.
Boss, still whispering loudly: It’s embarrassing.
Fulton St
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: justanotherblazer
Scruffy guy #1: So you actually wear little girl clothes?
Scruffy guy #2, nodding a lot: Yeah!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Laura
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
