Warehouse manager to engineer: Hello, Vice President tight pants! (salutes)
Aliso Viejo, California
Archive for the ‘Clothes’ Category
Unfortunately, It Was Too Late.
Employee #1, on boss’s outfit: You look very “navy” today!
Retired officer: Yup, blue and gold all the way! You should see my underwear.
Employee #2: And now the conversation’s over.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Are You Saying You Don’t Appreciate the Tutu?
Male program manager to another: Well, it’s better than imagining you in spandex!
Coworker in next cubicle: At least it’s not a thong.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
…Though, to Be Fair, I Loved “Get the Party Started”
30-something female employee #1: Do you have a pink cowboy hat?
30-something female employee #2: Uh… Let me think. (pause) No, sorry.
30-something female employee #1: Oh, well. It seemed like something you would have.
30-something female employee #2: No, but you know who does have them? GT. And they’re like 10 bucks there!
30-something female employee #1: Yeah! Giant Tiger, awesome!
30-something female employee #2: See, this is why I took Friday off, cause you’re going to come in all pinkified…
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Lannie
On the Plus Side, It’s Like an EZ Pass to Paternity Suits
Crime scene tech, teaching a class: No, semen doesn’t last. The sperm do. It’s really hard to get rid of them, even after a few days. It’s those tough little heads. You could put the clothes in the laundry and still find some. So…sorry ladies.
Las Vegas Street
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Dear Diary– Told Charlotte How I Feel Today!
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
I Think I Know What We’ll Be Serving at Your Farewell Party
Manager: You going to an interview or something?
Sales dude: Yeah. Like my tie?
Manager: It looks like whipped cream on a turd. Good luck.
1 Thomas Drive
Westbrook, Maine
Which Makes Them Ughs
Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?
Cute female receptionist: What’s wrong with my shoes?
Boss: They’re covered in scuff marks.
Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they’re not scuff marks, it’s pigeon crap.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Dasma
Dude, T‑Shirt– and Never Speak to Me Again!
Male coworker to another: As a man, have you ever had your nipples get sore from your shirt rubbing on them?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Amelia
It’s Okay to Go Lipstick Just for Halloween, Ma’am
Director of content: It’s hard to be slutty in flannel.
Manhattan, New York
