Boss: Are we not paying you enough, that you have to come in wearing those shoes?
Cute female receptionist: What’s wrong with my shoes?
Boss: They’re covered in scuff marks.
Cute female receptionist: Stop being so superficial! And they’re not scuff marks, it’s pigeon crap.
Madison Ave
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Dasma
Male coworker to another: As a man, have you ever had your nipples get sore from your shirt rubbing on them?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Amelia
Director of content: It’s hard to be slutty in flannel.
Manhattan, New York
Manager #1, waiting for elevator: He said it was intermittent.
Manager #2: He said it was what?
Manager #1: You know, like in her mittens.
Manager #2: Oh, in her mittens.
Manager #1: Yeah, mittens. (makes lobster claw motions with hand)
Manager #2: I never understand a word that comes out of his mouth.
Middleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: The Receptionist
Young employee on cell: You know how you wear pants that are too tight and you get that mark? It’s kinda like that.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Committee member: I forgot to bring in my receipts. I am wearing the cone of shame. I have put a reminder in my bra so that when I get undressed tonight I will remember to get those to you.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Male coworker to another wearing Mardi Gras beads: Aren’t you supposed to like, show your breasts or something?
Broadway & Canal
New York City, New York
Overheard by: office peon
Coworker #1: What does he wear?
Coworker #2: He usually wears moccasins and tight pants.
Coworker #1: Tight pants? What is a moccasins? Oh my god! He wears those?
Palatine, Illinois
Salesguy #1: We have more sweaters on the rack.
Salesguy #2: Hahaha! “Rack”!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Maggie
COO: So my son, his sisters have started dressing him up in their clothes and their mother’s high heels. I’ll come home and he’s clomping around in those shoes, and jewelry and a dress!
Openly gay office manager: That used to happen to me too!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist