Chick #1 to IT guy and chick #2: That fat kid on the new Shrek movie sounds weird. (in scratchy deep voice) “Do the roar!“
Chick #2: He sounds like Cartman.
Chick #1: If Cartman and Darth Sidious had a love child, that’s what he’d sound like. That fat kid.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were looking for an apartment on my street.
Female coworker: Oh, really?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wanna steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my balcony! (demonstrates by thrusting in the air) Take that, Scientology!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Giggling
Intern: I wish I could remember Matt Damon’s name in Good Will Hunting…
Santa Fe Building
Denver, Colorado
Writer: You know what I think? I think Jerry Lewis wakes up every morning just scared out of his mind that they’ll actually find a cure for muscular dystrophy.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Boss to underling: It’s not that Ender’s Game is Sci-Fi, it’s just set in the future.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: annoyed office mate
Cubicle #1: That movie was complete donk.
Cubilce #2: You’re a snob. I thought it was fun, and I loved the Roxanne Tango bit.
Cucible #1: Dude, that movie was a smegma sandwich and fuck anyone who says otherwise.
Cubicle #3: Hear, hear.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: still laughing
Older woman discussing the movie Bambi: Why did they keep calling him “little prince?” And where was his father?
Receptionist: Bucks don’t participate in raising the fawns.
Older woman: That’s so mean!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by:
Coworker #1: How was The Simpsons Movie?
Coworker #2: Pretty good.
Coworker #1: It’s not the cartoon version, is it?
Coworker #2: Uhh… Yeah.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Intern: You know, Michael Jackson always reminded me of Darth Vader.
Employee: Who?
Intern: From Star Wars.
Employee: Wait, Michael Jackson was in Star Wars?
Pennsylvania
Cube rat #1: Oh, I love that ringtone! That’s from Wizard of Oz, isn’t it?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead is my favorite song in that whole movie.
Cube rat #1: Who called?
Cube rat #2: My mother-in-law.
Cube rat #1, lauhging: Got any others?
Cube rat #2: Yeah, I’ve got If I Only Had a Brain on there, too.
Cube rat #1: Who’s that one for?
Cube rat #2: My boss.
Bossier City, Louisiana
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
