Director to editor, about shot in short film: If I had done all the moves right, I would have just come on her back.
Wilmywood, North Carolina
Overheard by: Actor
Archive for the ‘Cinema’ Category
…According to the Latest Polling Data from a Random Sample Of Blind People.
Elderly lady patient: My eyebrows are growing back. I look like Drew Barrymore.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
People Are Still Using Tractor Feed Printers?
New office girl: Oh! You just had to go and print on the noisy tractor-feed printer. Now I can’t hear my song!
(printer stops)
Old office girl #2: Is that…?
Old office girl #3: The Titanic Song?
Old office girl #2: Are you serious?
Old office girl #3: THIS is your song?
Charlotte, North Carolina
And It’s Not That I’m a Virgin, I’ve Just Never Been Able to Get Laid
Boss to underling: It’s not that Ender’s Game is Sci-Fi, it’s just set in the future.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: annoyed office mate
Doesn’t Explain Why Julia Roberts Looks Like That
Coworker #1: Have you ever seen “The Hills Have Eyes”?
Coworker #2: Nah, I don’t like horror movies about mutants.
Coworker #1: They’re not mutants. Okay, they like live in this town where the government did like nuclear testing and it…
Coworker #2: Turned them into mutants.
Coworker #1: Well I guess… Based on how you define mutant.
Coworker #2: Someone who is changed or ‘mutated’ by radioactive material… Mutant.
Coworker #1: Yeah? well they all lived in this town where they were doing testing.
Coworker #3: Oh yeah. I saw that one. It gets into the water supply and there’s like a big lawsuit!
Coworker #2: No dude, that’s “Erin Brockovich“
Coworker #3: Oh. Yeah.
E Golf Rd
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Shouldn’t We at Least Try to Cater to the Semi-Literate?
Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?
Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.
Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: ugh.
I Thought Their Lovechild Was the Fat Kid from That Lightsaber YouTube Video?
Chick #1 to IT guy and chick #2: That fat kid on the new Shrek movie sounds weird. (in scratchy deep voice) “Do the roar!“
Chick #2: He sounds like Cartman.
Chick #1: If Cartman and Darth Sidious had a love child, that’s what he’d sound like. That fat kid.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Take What, Exactly? No, Don’t Tell Me.
Cute gay guy: Tome Cruise and Katie Holmes were looking for an apartment on my street.
Female coworker: Oh, really?
Cute gay guy: Yeah, I live on Toorak Road. If they move there, I wanna steal Suri. And have crazy bum sex on my balcony! (demonstrates by thrusting in the air) Take that, Scientology!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Giggling
This Is Just Like That Erin Brockovich Incident
Intern: I wish I could remember Matt Damon’s name in Good Will Hunting…
Santa Fe Building
Denver, Colorado
And If Science Ever Conquers Death, the Pope’s Out of a Job
Writer: You know what I think? I think Jerry Lewis wakes up every morning just scared out of his mind that they’ll actually find a cure for muscular dystrophy.
Scottsdale, Arizona
