Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P‑O-R-T-S-M-I-T‑H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.
Hotel
Kowloon, Hong Kong
China
Overheard by: Embarrassed American
Visiting European account manager: Hello [Katie], how nice to see you again. I am back for factory visit!
Chinese Sales Rep: Hi, welcome you to office again! You are look much fatter than last time! Every time, fatter and fatter!
Visiting European account manager: …yes…well…really…
188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China
Man: I’ve heard that you’ve been to New York before and tried to be a stripper there.
Woman: Yeah, I’ve taken my ass back now.
Shanghai, China
Peon, slamming down phone: That client is so goddamn dumb! I swear to god, every time I talk to him, I get more and more stupider.
International Finance Centre
Hong Kong
Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.
Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong
China
Visiting European account manager: Oh, you have a new cell! I guess it was time to get a new one?
Chinese Project Manager: Yes, this morning I come to work and I am robbed by bandits. So, I have to get a new cell phone.
Visiting European account manager: Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha…ha…Heh. Oh. Oh dear. Are you ok?
Chinese Project Manager (in Chinese): Is she drunk?
188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China
Overheard by: Adam White
Employee #1: Helen, what’s your e‑mail address?
Employee #2: H‑E-H-E-Q-I‑[email protected][overheard].com
Employee #1: So that’s H‑E-E‑E–
Employee #2: No, H‑E-H‑E.
Employee #1: Okay, like “hee hee”?
Employee #2: Yes. Q‑I–
Employee #1: “Hee hee chin chee”?
Employee #2: No.
1088 Yanan West Road
Shanghai, China
Overheard by: Tom Will
Co-worker: Okay class, now I will read the dialogue to you and
afterwards ask you questions about it.
He reads the dialogue.
Co-worker: So class, I didn’t actually hear and don’t remember anything that I just said so can someone tell me?
Beijao, Shunde, Foshan
Guang dong, China
Overheard by: lost in translation
Guy to friend: I need to get a girlfriend just for like a week or so. Just to get that stench on me. Besides, girls dig guys with hairy arms.
Shanghai
China
Secretary: Stop it… Stop it! I will menstruate all over you!
Citic Tower
Hong Kong
China
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist