Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category

Well We’ve Seen His Teeny Tiny Denim Shorts

Older coworker: My father worked the poles for 45 years.
(blank stares from everyone else)
Older coworker: What? He’d climb the poles all day, and he’d still be doing it now if Bell hadn’t offered a real good retirement deal.
Younger coworker: Wait, do you mean by Bell the telephone company?
Older coworker: Yeah, he was a line repairman.
Younger coworker, realizing: Ohhh.
Older coworker: Why are you acting so surprised, what else would I mean?


Overheard by: Next Room Over

…Though, to Be Fair, I Loved “Get the Party Started”

30-something female employee #1: Do you have a pink cowboy hat?
30-something female employee #2: Uh… Let me think. (pause) No, sorry.
30-something female employee #1: Oh, well. It seemed like something you would have.
30-something female employee #2: No, but you know who does have them? GT. And they’re like 10 bucks there!
30-something female employee #1: Yeah! Giant Tiger, awesome!
30-something female employee #2: See, this is why I took Friday off, cause you’re going to come in all pinkified…


Overheard by: Lannie

4PM Call Repairman–again

Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario

Brain Food?

Guy: Do you think it’s possible to be allergic to… you know?
Girl: No, I don’t know…
Guy: Sure you do.
Girl: No, I don’t know what ‘you know’ is!
Guy: Yes, you know!
Girl: What? You mean, like, condoms?
Guy: No, like you know — vagina…
Girl: Why on earth would anybody be allergic to vagina?!
Guy: Cause, you know, it’s like fish.

Customer service call center
Montreal, Quebec

Overheard by: MBN

Everyone Knows Encyclopedias Are Just Speculation!

Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…‘
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.
Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–
Coworker #2: –Morphine is not addictive.
All other coworkers: It says right here!
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!

Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta

…Before You Start Drawing Venn Diagrams

Female #1: Actually, me and my ex had a drink together a few weeks ago.
Female #2: I’m impressed at your ability to stay friends with your exes.
Female #1: No, he’s the only one. That I dated. I’m friends with a lot of people that I’ve done…“business” with.
Female #2: I… I have to go.


Overheard by: Creeped Out