Archive for the ‘California and Northwest’ Category

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: Is that pumpkin cream cheese?
Co-worker #2: I think so.
Co-worker #1: You mean you just blindly put that on your bagel?
Co-worker #2: What else would make it orange?
Co-worker #1: …Um…orange?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, what else is orange but pumpkin?

225 Bush Street
San Francisco, California

9AM Back to Work

Customer: Are you open?
Cashier: Uh, excuse me?
Customer: Are you open?
Cashier: Um…yeah.
Customer: Oh, well you’re not supposed to be.
Cashier: What?
Customer: Well, it says you’re not supposed to be open until 10!
Cashier: Um…oh, well pharmacy opens at 10. We’ve been open since 8.
Customer: Okay, well I can come back.
Cashier: Um, okay…but we are open right now.
Customer: Okay, well then all I want is a box of cigarettes.

4405 1st Street
Livermore, California

Overheard by: Stephen

Most Dads Would Like Mom and the Kids to Move Out

IT tech #1: What day is father's day?
IT tech #2: Sunday.
IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!
IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.
IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!
IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.
IT tech #1: Fuck!
IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?
IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what would you like to do for father's day?

Santa Clara, California