Archive for the ‘California and Northwest’ Category

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: Is that pumpkin cream cheese?
Co-worker #2: I think so.
Co-worker #1: You mean you just blindly put that on your bagel?
Co-worker #2: What else would make it orange?
Co-worker #1: …Um…orange?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, what else is orange but pumpkin?

225 Bush Street
San Francisco, California

9AM Back to Work

Customer: Are you open?
Cashier: Uh, excuse me?
Customer: Are you open?
Cashier: Um…yeah.
Customer: Oh, well you’re not supposed to be.
Cashier: What?
Customer: Well, it says you’re not supposed to be open until 10!
Cashier: Um…oh, well pharmacy opens at 10. We’ve been open since 8.
Customer: Okay, well I can come back.
Cashier: Um, okay…but we are open right now.
Customer: Okay, well then all I want is a box of cigarettes.

4405 1st Street
Livermore, California

Overheard by: Stephen

Most Dads Would Like Mom and the Kids to Move Out

IT tech #1: What day is father's day?
IT tech #2: Sunday.
IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!
IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.
IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!
IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.
IT tech #1: Fuck!
IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?
IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what would you like to do for father's day?

Santa Clara, California

9AM Back to Work

Tech support guy on phone: Hi, I was wondering if you had a hair dryer?
…No, I have a meeting in about an hour, and I spilled coffee on my pants, and I don’t want to go this meeting with wet pants.
…I figured since you have such beautiful hair that you probably have a hair dryer.
…Well, thanks anyway, but a curling iron is probably not going to work.

160 Rio Robles
San Jose, California

Overheard by: Mitch Shiver