Assistant #1: Do you know what they used to use to get the color in red velvet cake?
Assistant #2: Blood?
Assistant #1: No. Beets.
Assistant #2: That’s disgusting.
Supervisor: Compared to your guess?
Sacramento, California
Archive for the ‘California’ Category
Just Like I Say to My Husband on Very Special Nights
Barista handing toast to customer: You’re all buttered up and ready to rock and roll!
Redlands, California
Overheard by: snotting_espresso
Was That a Threat, Ma’am?
Guard to woman, as metal detector beeps at her: Please step over here, ma’am.
Woman: I don’t carry sharp objects on me…except my wit.
Guard: Please.
LAX Security Check-In
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 2Aron
Has the Millionaire Matchmaker Gotten Too Full Of Herself? Discuss.
Coworker to another: You should let him go first, he has a bigger one to pull out.
Los Angeles, California
For Murphy, It’s Skywriters or Nothing
Suit: It’s been a big thing. I’ve sent a bunch of emails about it.
Boss: Yeah, I’ve ignored them. Sorry.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: It’s not my project
Gives a Mean Blowjob, Though
Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He’s not even smart!
Orange County, California
Why Superheros Only Change Into Their Costumes When They’re Fighting Crime
Warehouse manager to engineer: Hello, Vice President tight pants! (salutes)
Aliso Viejo, California
And a Half!
Male coworker, as female places personal ad: Did you just say you were five years old?!
21135 Erwin Street
Woodland Hills, California
Unfortunately, the Stage Name ‘Mr. T’ Was Already Taken
Coworker #1: Is that green tea?
Coworker #2: Yeah.
Coworker #1: Is there such a thing as blue tea?
Coworker #2: I don’t think so.
Coworker #1: Maybe blueberry flavored would be blue. Is there blueberry tea? Blue tea would be crazy!
Coworker #2, shrugging: I’m not sure. There might be, but I’m not a tea expert.
Coworker #1: I am. I’m a tea connoisseur. I know all about tea. Well, the letter T. I know all about the letter T. I can write it in all kinds of ancient, archaic languages.
Coworker #2 [Blank stare.]
9785 Towne Centre Drive
San Diego, California
How You Know Your Photographers Don’t Have Enough Work to Do
Photographer #1: It doesn’t need to be sucked that hard.
Photographer #2: Yes, it does.
Photographer #3: I am more about friction then suction.
Studio
Culver City, California
