Editor: This story is too long. We've got to whack off about eight inches here.
Modesto, California
Archive for the ‘California’ Category
Just Got His Room the Way He Likes It
Cashier: Okay, so can I get your address so we can ship the unit to you? [Old lady gives the cashier her address.] And you, sir? What’s yours?
40-year-old son wearing a ‘Vote for Pedro’ shirt: It’s the same as my mom’s.
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: SK
He Said Enematically
Engineer: Holy shit! I just measured twelve shafts!
5810 Nancy Ridge Drive
San Diego, California
Unlike White People, Who Pretend to Have Read Them
Black coworker, showing off book: It was on Oprah's Book Club.
White coworker: Oh, okay.
Black coworker, putting book under shirt: And now I'm hiding it, cos I don't read books. I'm black.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: sure, why not?
Dude, You’re on Speakerphone
VP, after phone call: What are these guys, incompetent? [Looks at phone] Is that thing hung up?
Ventura and Balboa Boulevards
Encino, California
Overheard by: Wish I didn’t work in the Valley
Just Getting You Back for the Infamous Glitter Incident of ’05
Coworker entering another’s cube with hole-puncher, stack of paper, and beginning to punch holes: If I do this in my office, then there will be little paper circles all over my floor, and that’s really annoying.
1632 Da Vinci Court
Davis, California
Then How About a Calzone?
Woman on phone: It’s like asking a rocket scientist to make a pizza–I just can’t do it!
707 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Ilya
Michael Douglas Reprises His ‘Greed Is Good’ Speech From Wall Street
Broker on phone: Blame it on greed…Uh huh…No, I’m saying that greed is a well-known, widely accepted motivator, so just say it was greed. They’ll understand.
10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Eavesdropper
2PM “Meeting”
Office worker: Is this the meeting or the meeting about the meeting?
8687 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, California
Why Did We Come to This Godless Country, Jimmy?
Irish construction worker #1, exiting job site: You know what's wrong with this job?
Irish construction worker #2, behind him: What?
Irish construction worker #1: We're workin' on an Irish bar, and there's no bloody beer!
Irish construction worker #2: Sure there is! There's Guinness!
Both, in chorus: In cans! (they spit on the ground)
Haigh Street
San Francisco, California