Co-worker #1: Hey, do we need to dress up when the Japs show up next week?
Boss: Don’t ever refer to them as Japs! That’s racist and very offensive. Please refer to them as Japanese instead.
Co-worker #2: Hey, while we’re being all culturally sensitive and shit, can I show up to work dressed as a ninja to welcome them to America?
115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Lawyer: Ben*, if I e-mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!
575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC
Supervisor: Did someone order colored pencils from the office supply place?
Assistant: I’m thinking of becoming a caricaturist.
330 Madison Ave
New York City
Jewish manager: I got your e-mail about XYZ Spring Company* not being able to make that spring.
Office girl: Yeah, those dirty– Ugh!
Jewish manager: It’s okay, it’s okay!
Office girl: They just keep quoting stuff, and when I give them an order they decide they can’t do it because they are little pieces–! Ugh! Never mind!
Jewish manager: Are you okay?
Office girl: Yeah… I’m just trying to be Christian today.
Jewish manager: … Good for you. [Walks away.]Office girl, from a distance: I need to say more things in my head. I think I’m fired now.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss to underling: It's not that Ender's Game is Sci-Fi, it's just set in the future.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: annoyed office mate
Newlywed coworker: I am all about leather.
33 New Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Female manager to frustrated sales rep: Just put your big girl panties on and deal with it!
Business owner, over her shoulder: Oh, oh! Stern words from Miss Kello-Kitty-pants!
4th Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Co-worker: This thing might fall on my head.
VP: Well, just hope that doesn’t happen, then.
Co-worker: It’s better than you falling on my head.
VP: No thanks, you aren’t my type.
4925 Main Street
Buffalo, New York
Intern: They didn’t have Guinness, so we had pure Jameson and Bailey shots.
Manager: Oh, well.
Intern: Laced with something else.
Associate: PCP?
Intern: Who knows?
Manager: Could it have been PCP?
Intern: It tasted awfully sweet.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions