Archive for the ‘Bosses and Underlings’ Category

If You’re Go­ing to Dis­re­spect Au­thor­i­ty, Don’t Leave Wit­ness­es

As­sis­tant: I don’t know if you want to give him a call or not.
Boss #1: What hap­pened?
As­sis­tant: He mouthed off to a cop.
Boss #1: Sounds like Er­ic*.
Boss #2: Er­ic did­n’t mouth off to a cop.
Boss #1: I thought he did.
Boss #2: No, he ran over a cop. There’s a big dif­fer­ence be­tween run­ning a cop over and mouthing off to one.

Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: can’t make it up

4PM Call [the Client]

Sec­re­tary: [The client] keeps call­ing and ask­ing for me. And you know what? The next time he does that, I’m go­ing to tell him that you lied to him.
Boss: What? Why?
Sec­re­taty: Be­cause you tell him you’re go­ing to do all these things for him, and you don’t!
Boss: That’s be­cause he’s an id­iot!

527 West Jef­fer­son Street
Louisville, Ken­tucky

Yes! An­oth­er Big Win for Strate­gic In­com­pe­tence!

Sales man­ag­er: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill every­thing out be­fore­hand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that over­seas?
Sales man­ag­er: It’s in the Mid­dle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales man­ag­er: No, the Mid­dle East! It’s in­ter­na­tion­al.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not in­ter­na­tion­al.
Sales man­ag­er: I’ll just do it my­self.

Louisville, Ken­tucky

Be­yond a Rea­son­able Doubt

At­tor­ney: Oh, god, not her. She is an in­suf­fer­able hag. Tell her I’m not in the of­fice.
Temp on phone: I’m sor­ry, ma’am, he’s out of the of­fice… Well, I apol­o­gize, but he’s not here right now… Yes, I’m aware that ly­ing to an­oth­er at­tor­ney is un­eth­i­cal… Ma’am, you did not hear his voice in the back­ground… No, I’m telling you, he’s not here… Well, how do you know that was his voice? Could­n’t it have been an in­tern or an­oth­er at­tor­ney? … Well if it sound­ed like him, who’s to say his son is­n’t vis­it­ing to­day and that’s whose voice you heard? Yes, I’ll give him the mes­sage. Thank you.
At­tor­ney: So… Have you con­sid­ered law school?

Long Is­land law firm
Long Is­land, New York

You Say That Every Day.

As­sis­tant: Did you know that dogs get breast can­cer?
Su­per­vi­sor: What?
As­sis­tant: I used to work at a vet of­fice, and they would bring in dogs with breast can­cer!
Su­per­vi­sor, af­ter googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
As­sis­tant: Oh, re­al­ly?! I made that up!
Su­per­vi­sor: I’m done with you.

New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Dig­it­dy