Archive for the ‘Bosses and Underlings’ Category

But This Is a Four-Per­son Of­fice!

Boss: Don’t do that. Make Suzanne* do that.
As­sis­tant: Why?
Boss: Be­cause Suzanne is a cunt and we hate her.
As­sis­tant: I like her. Erin* likes her.
Boss: We don’t re­al­ly like you two, ei­ther.

Goshen Turn­pike
Bloom­ing­burg, New York

Over­heard by: Veron­i­ca at

1PM Defin­ing Ex­pec­ta­tions

Of­fice man­ag­er: The first rule of thumb is that two ge­ot­ech­ni­cal en­gi­neers will al­ways give you two dif­fer­ent an­swers. The sec­ond rule of thumb is that I’m al­ways right.
In­terns: Ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­ha­hah


Of­fice man­ag­er: I’m be­ing se­ri­ous.

1066 West Hast­ings
Van­cou­ver, Cana­dia

Over­heard by: An­drew

Kei­th Gets 30 Days in the Hole

Man­ag­er to three peo­ple work­ing in cu­bi­cle: What are you all do­ing in here?!
Male cowork­er: There’s a dead mouse in my cube.
La­dy cowork­er: This is Kei­th*. He’s a temp, but there’s nowhere for him to sit, so they’re all in my cube.
Man­ag­er: What are you do­ing about the mouse?!
Male cowork­er: Some guy came up and re­moved the fil­ing cab­i­nets and found the mouse. But he had to call a guy in an­oth­er union to come and pick up the mouse.
Man­ag­er: What the fuck? This is un­be­liev­able.
La­dy cowork­er: It’s like an over­crowd­ed prison in here.
Man­ag­er: Oh, I’ll show you prison [leaves].
Kei­th: Is she mad?
Male cowork­er: Is­n’t this fun?

777 3rd Av­enue
New York, New York