Supervisor: Go to your computer and pull up the client file you showed me earlier, the one that was wrong. I need to show it to the IT people.
Worker: I can’t because I deleted it.
Supervisor: Why did you delete it?
Worker: Because you told me to.
Supervisor: Don’t do what I tell you! Do what I say.
Franklin Square
Springfield, Illinois
Group Manager: Just to let you know, your boss went to go get his AIDS shot for his travel to India.
Co-worker: What I don’t understand is, why don’t we all get the AIDS shot?
Group Manager: Um, that was a joke.
440 9th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: John Leffler
Boss to office: It's like being on Wheel of Fortune without having to buy a vowel.
Chicago, Illinois
Male boss: I want you to know that was awesomely wicked!
Female worker, just exiting ladies’ room: You can hear what people do in there?
Male boss: No! No… I meant, that e-mail you sent last week.
Kitchener, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Notdaboss
Team leader: Tomorrow we're having sexual harassment training. (laughs) Jane, you can't touch Sophie.
Male coworker: They can touch me!
Melbourne, Florida
Boss: Do you know where the gigabytes are? I need some more for my computer.
Employee #1: What are you talking about?
Boss: Are they in the closet?
He goes looking in the closet for about five minutes.
Boss: Seriously, do you know where more gigabytes are?
Employee #2: Maybe they’re in your pants.
N59W14909 Bobolink Avenue
Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin
Overheard by: LeeAnn Michaud
Boss: This project is pretty ugly, so I’m giving it to you.
Employee: Aw, I didn’t get you anything.
60 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Underling: These people were home users. We also have data for work users, but they shouldn’t be double-counted in the combined numbers.
Boss: I am definitely going to Taco Bell tonight.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Secretary: What are they here for?
Boss: They are here to remove my organ.
Secretary: … What?
Fort Street
Lincoln Park, Michigan
Boss to underling: I'm okay with someone coming at me from the front. It's when they come from behind that bothers me.
Tysons Corner, Virginia