Classmate #1: I’m gonna shave your head and sell your hair on the black market!
Classmate #2: Why would black people want his hair?
Classmate #3, after laughter subsides: Where is the black market, anyway?
Mt. Vernon High School
Mt. Vernon, Texas
Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category
You're Gonna Love Unix
Specialist to data entry rep: Reboot your system and then send in a testicle service request.
Central, Illinois
Overheard by: Mrs. D
Um, It’s a Bible
Coworker to another holding book: Go to the vagina page!
Christmas party
Richfield, Minnesota
Like, Why Were You Touching It with Your Penis?
Agent #1: Dude, I haven't talked to you in forever.
Agent #2: Man, you get weirded out all the time.
Agent #1: Me!? I never get weirded out, man.
Agent #2: What about that time I touched your ear?
Agent #1: Yeah, that was weird.
Ontario
Canadia
Why Gay Porn Stars Are So Healthy
Gay hairstylist: But people who have anal don't get prostrate cancer…
Manager: They only get hemorrhoids.
Gay hairstylist: That's true, after a while it looks like a cauliflower. But, anyway, we do not get prostate cancer, because the cock acts like a massage therapist.
Manager: Riiiiight!
Sao Paulo
Brazil
Maybe Not So Much Teeth Next Time?
Coworker to another, about bus driver: I couldn't even get it out of my mouth before he started bellowing.
Swiftwater, Pennsylvania
You Seem to Be Missing My Point Deliberately
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
…Thankfully That's in This Season.
Coworker, after being asked several times if she likes a coworker's new shoes: No, they're ugly like your face.
Missoula, Montana
Should I Start Referring to Yeast Infections As “Infiltration of the Defensive Line”?
Female coworker #1: I’m sure *Mark hates being the only guy on these smoke breaks; especially when we start talking about our vagina issues.
Female coworker #2: That’s how I feel when y’all talk about football. Football is my vagina.
Sex Toy Company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
I Find Those Two Statements to Be Incompatible
Boss to others, while riding to lunch: You don't want to eat at Infinity, the only thing on the menu there is penis.
Pittsbrurgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Brad