Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category

Now I Just Work, Go Home, and Cry Myself to Sleep

Girl: I gave up dick for lent.

Jericho, New York

Oh, I Know You’re a Fan Of My Hard Candy?

Attractive female employee: Hey Steve*, do you have something hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, after 15 second pause and in disbelief: Jane*, you really don’t know how long I have been waiting for you to ask me that.
Attractive female employee, turning red: I meant did you have candy, like Jolly Ranchers or something.

San Luis Obisbo, California

Inspired Me to Go Into Proctology

Coworker, in hushed voice: You know, the thing about black men is that they have really nice asses. They really do.

National Institutes of Health
Bethesda, Maryland

I’d Like to Dip My Socks in Your Coffee

Worker #1: Did you hear me? I just said I hit my knee on the window.
Worker #2: But there are no windows in your cubicle.
Worker #1: I know, I meant chair.
Worker #2: Hey [worker #3], did you hear [worker #1]? She said window but meant chair.
Worker #1: I also meant arm not knee.
Worker #2: Wait, so when you said, “I hit my knee on the window,” you really meant,“I hit my arm on the chair?“
Worker #1: Yeah.
Worker #2: You’re beautiful.

Rt 31, Illinois

A Little Something Extra on the Meat-Lover’s Pizza, Ma’am

Employee #1: Yeah, it was a great porno. Yeah, she was all up on his taint. The taint. You know the part between the meat and the hole? Yeah, that.
Employee #2, on the phone with customer: (cringe)
Customer on phone: Excuse me…
Employee #2: Umm, yes ma’am?
Customer: Was that man talking about balls?

Pizza Place
Long Island, New York