Ditzy coworker, giggling: My hair smells like Asian noodles!
Des Moines, Iowa
Archive for the ‘Body Parts’ Category
Worst. “Birds and Bees” Talk. Ever.
Coworker to another: It doesn’t matter if they’re juicy or dry, they all do the same thing.
Atlanta, Georgia
Was It Better When People Didn’t Discuss Their Vaginas at Work? Discuss.
Super pregnant co-worker to new hire: Oh my god, it’s like I can feel his face pushing up against my vagina whenever I walk!
(new hire stares in stunned silence)
Super pregnant co-worker, attempting to backpedal: Well, I mean, not all the time. But if I walk really fast then I get worried it’ll mess up his face! Like, “woah, dude, what happened to your nose?” “My mom had a really heavy gait when I was in utero, man.”
New Jersey
Overheard by: So, what does it feel like when you sit?
How You Know Your Coworker’s a Virgin
Younger guy peon: You know, I’ve never had any experience with ladies from the Pacific Rim.
Older guy peon: Really? Well, lemme tell you something. Their hair down there is dark, straight, and soft.
Younger guy peon, thoughtfully: … Like a puppy dog’s ears?
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Beef and Ale
Which I Should Not Have Done at Milking Time
Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I’d cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.
Warren, Michigan
Overheard by: Scared for my tits
So Do I Have the Job or What?
Chick: Sometimes I chew with my mouth open just for effect.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: aireiq
Business Is All About Keeping the Customer Coming Back
Director to editor, about shot in short film: If I had done all the moves right, I would have just come on her back.
Wilmywood, North Carolina
Overheard by: Actor
Because Now I Have to Go See
Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.
Sandwich shop
South Carolina
As Adam Said to Eve
Project manager to programming team: This is the first time I’ve seen it. It’s already long, and it’s getting bigger. I don’t know how big it will get, but this is probably going to be hard.
Kansas City, Missouri
Dante’s Inferno Was Actually Set in Yonkers
Older lady: The bag can’t go through the ass! I’m writing him an e‑mail. He’s taking this shit back.
Younger lady: Hey, are we allowed to drop the s‑bomb on packaging?
Yonkers, New York
Overheard by: Jay B
