Archive for the ‘Arts’ Category

Despite What You Read in the Gay and Lesbian Section

Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It’s a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn’t he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It’s a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don’t eat your friends!

Borders
Melbourne Central
Australia

Overheard by: Incognito

Like If They Smoke a Lot of Pot

Senior partner: What are you listening to? That’s some funky music.
Paralegal: Phish.
Senior partner: Oooh, Phish — I’ve heard of them but never heard them. Wow, they have a great sound.
Paralegal: Yeah, I really like them.
Senior partner, with fixed gaze: When you know someone listens to funky music, that can really tell you a lot about a person.

Washington, DC

2PM Call Tech Support

Co-worker #1: Did you hear about that audition?
Co-worker #2: No.
Co-worker #1: You didn’t get that email?
Co-worker #2: No. My email must be broken.
Co-worker #1: What else haven’t you gotten?
Co-worker #2: Well, if my email is broken, how could I possibly know that?

270 Lafayette Street
New York, NY

3PM Coffee Break

Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.

695 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Carl Limbacher 

Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?

800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Life: 1 Art: 0

Male coworker: How’s the book I lent you?
Female coworker: It’s good. I got up to the part where he changes his name, but I was on the bus and a girlfriend started fighting with her boyfriend, so I stopped reading to watch that.

139 Highland Street
Port Chester, New York

Overheard by: soon to be hired