We're Still Living Under the Same Roofie

Cubicle dweller on phone: Nah, she's not been banging me very much. I think I'm banging her more than she's banging me.

Conway, Arkansas

9AM Back to Work

Engineer: I’m against Google Earth! The terrorists are using it! And the communists!

700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas

…Don't You Ever Just Need Something to Suck On?

Female coworker, raiding candy bowl on guys desk: How do you stay away from this candy all day?
Male coworker: I thought you were a nut girl.
Female coworker: I am, but sometimes I need my hard sweets.

Little Rock, Arkansas

Neither Improves the Turkey’s Flavor, Though

Lady peon: You can fit a lot tampons in there, but pads are a completely different story.

Fayetteville, Arkansas

Overheard by: So What?

Wanna Borrow the Kneepads in My Desk?

Owner: Have you proposed to her yet? When are you gonna propose to that girl? You're not getting a bonus, a raise, or a review until you get down on your knees.
Employee: (smirks)
Owner: For her!

Rogers, Arkansas

That's What You Said About Little Doggies in Sweaters.

Doctor: The homeless people know what they are doing wearing more than one coat…

Hospital
Little Rock, Arkansas

1PM Lunch

Office Manager: How do you spell “Useta”?
Co-worker: Use it in a sentence.
Office Manager: I “useta” drink Cokes; now I only drink water.
Co-worker: That is an Arkansas word.

1700 Westpark Drive
Little Rock, Arkansas

Why All Her Kids Are Adopted

Coworker, after boss made big volunteerism speech: I don’t want to do anything where there’s the possibility of seeing something gross.

Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: that’s the spirit

I’m Just Trying to Be Polite

Hardhat #1 yelling to buddy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hardhat #2: Insanity.
Hardhat #1: Shamu?
Hardhat #2: No — insanity.
Hardhat #1: I can’t hear anything down here.

University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, Arkansas

Snorting Gravy Is Fun, but It’s Not Enough

Blonde: Mmm… It smells so good in here. Doesn’t it smell good in here? I love it! I just want to eat what’s in my nose right now!
Friend: I know!

Arkansas