I’m Just Try­ing to Be Po­lite

Hard­hat #1 yelling to bud­dy in crane: How’d you get to be so tall?
Hard­hat #2: In­san­i­ty.
Hard­hat #1: Shamu?
Hard­hat #2: No — in­san­i­ty.
Hard­hat #1: I can’t hear any­thing down here.

Uni­ver­si­ty of Arkansas
Fayet­teville, Arkansas

We’re Still Liv­ing Un­der the Same Roofie

Cu­bi­cle dweller on phone: Nah, she’s not been bang­ing me very much. I think I’m bang­ing her more than she’s bang­ing me.

Con­way, Arkansas

9AM Back to Work

En­gi­neer: I’m against Google Earth! The ter­ror­ists are us­ing it! And the com­mu­nists!

700 West Capi­tol Av­enue
Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

…Don’t You Ever Just Need Some­thing to Suck On?

Fe­male cowork­er, raid­ing can­dy bowl on guys desk: How do you stay away from this can­dy all day?
Male cowork­er: I thought you were a nut girl.
Fe­male cowork­er: I am, but some­times I need my hard sweets.

Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

Nei­ther Im­proves the Turkey’s Fla­vor, Though

La­dy pe­on: You can fit a lot tam­pons in there, but pads are a com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent sto­ry.

Fayet­teville, Arkansas

Over­heard by: So What?

Wan­na Bor­row the Kneepads in My Desk?

Own­er: Have you pro­posed to her yet? When are you gonna pro­pose to that girl? You’re not get­ting a bonus, a raise, or a re­view un­til you get down on your knees.
Em­ploy­ee: (smirks)
Own­er: For her!

Rogers, Arkansas

That’s What You Said About Lit­tle Dog­gies in Sweaters.

Doc­tor: The home­less peo­ple know what they are do­ing wear­ing more than one coat…

Hos­pi­tal
Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

1PM Lunch

Of­fice Man­ag­er: How do you spell “Use­ta”?
Co-work­er: Use it in a sen­tence.
Of­fice Man­ag­er: I “use­ta” drink Cokes; now I on­ly drink wa­ter.
Co-work­er: That is an Arkansas word.

1700 West­park Dri­ve
Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

Why All Her Kids Are Adopt­ed

Cowork­er, af­ter boss made big vol­un­teerism speech: I don’t want to do any­thing where there’s the pos­si­bil­i­ty of see­ing some­thing gross.

Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

Over­heard by: that’s the spir­it

Snort­ing Gravy Is Fun, but It’s Not Enough

Blonde: Mmm… It smells so good in here. Does­n’t it smell good in here? I love it! I just want to eat what’s in my nose right now!
Friend: I know!

Arkansas