Archive for the ‘Arizona’ Category

I Give Them a Year, Tops

Director of sales and marketing baby-talking and hugging his iBook: Some day you’re going to be a dinosaur and no one is going to like you! But not me! No, I love you, little iBook.

401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: reservations monster

1PM Lunch

Sales #1: There’s lint on your shoulder.
Sales #2: Oh.
Sales #1: Here, I’ll pick it off. Wait, here’s Scotch tape; that works better.
Sales #2: I feel like those monkeys that pick bugs off each other’s heads and backs. 

712 South Hacienda Drive
Tempe, Arizona

So Anyway, Mom Had a Stroke

Fat black girl: My mom — she’s bein’ so damn nosy. Yesterday she says, ‘V, tell me something I don’t know about you!‘
Fat white girl: So, what’d you say?
Fat black girl: I said, ‘I like it in the ass! That shit is wonderful.‘
Fat white girl: Hahaha, oh my god. Wait, how is that her being nosy?
Fat black girl: Well, it’s what she get. She didn’t know it; now she does. Serve her right for askin’.

Clothing store, 4500 North Oracle Road
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: i just wanted to shop

They Will Go on Forever Like This If Not Stopped

Cube guy #1: I’m gonna need your help today getting into the client.
Cube guy #2: Didn’t you do what I told you to do yesterday?
Cube guy #1: Oh, yeah. That worked — I got in from the back end, but I want to get in the front of the box.
Cube guy #2: Well, to get in the front end of the client you need to follow a very different procedure.
Cube guy #1: Right, that’s what I need. I’m hoping you could give me a little direction if you’ve ever done it that way.
Cube guy #2: Sure, that’s the way I usually go in.

Internet company
Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: Cube Guru