Archive for the ‘Accidents’ Category

The Court Lim­it­ed Mom to an In­flat­able Car

Girl #1: Hey, when is that fes­ti­val?
Girl #2: I think it’s some­time in the be­gin­ning of May?
Girl #1: We should to­tal­ly go.
Girl #2: Yes… It will be fun, we can run over pedes­tri­ans like your mom did that one time.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! I for­got about that…
Girl #2: Ha­ha, she just kept dri­ving.

Greene Tur­tle, Main Street
Bel Air, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Glyn­nisO

What Hap­pens When You Don’t Train a New Man­ag­er

HR clerk: He got so ex­cit­ed and he crapped all over him­self.
Re­cep­tion­ist, laugh­ing: Did Jim [man­ag­er] do that again?
Hr clerk: Uh, no, I was talk­ing about my new pup­py.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Oh, for­get what I just said. Please for­get! I was sup­posed to for­get.

Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Brain Danc­ing

I Once Did a Gin Marathon, Though.

Of­fice work­er: I ran 16 miles last night.
Rep: You ran 16 miles… I ran for 12 min­utes. Does that count?
Of­fice work­er: I am train­ing for a marathon. I came home at 10 pm last night and my knees were all bloody.
Rep: Oh, did you fall?
Of­fice work­er: Yeah, twice.
Rep: And you kept on run­ning?
Of­fice work­er: Yeah.
Rep: The on­ly thing com­ing out of my veins is booze!

Buf­fa­lo, New York