Archive for the ‘Accidents’ Category

He Got 500 Hours as Pun­ish­ment for Hav­ing Lisa Marie

Of­fice girl: My mom said she al­most wrecked her car the oth­er day be­cause she was watch­ing Elvis pick up trash on the side of the road. My mom said he was pick­ing up trash in his jump­suit, right there on the side of the road.
Of­fice guy: Elvis was do­ing a lit­tle com­mu­ni­ty ser­vice, was he?

Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

I Won­dered Why We Kept Re­ceiv­ing Nip­ple Clamps for the Toys for Tots Dri­ve

Work­er #1: Ohmigod! I was typ­ing a let­ter and I was typ­ing re­al­ly fast and in­stead of typ­ing “tots” I typed “tits”!
Work­er #2, un­der­whelmed: Re­al­ly? That’s fun­ny.
Work­er #1: No, re­al­ly!! I typed “tits,” like t‑i-t‑s, at least I think that’s how you spell it.

Jef­fer­son City, Mis­souri