Cowork­er, very mat­ter-of-fact­ly: Well, that’s why I don’t have stom­ach prob­lems. I don’t watch the news, I don’t read the pa­per, and the on­ly fi­nan­cial thing I watch is my bank ac­count.

Re­ston, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: The re­cep­tion­ist hears the cra­zi­est stuff