Boss: You’re out smok­ing again? I thought you were quit­ting?
As­sis­tant: I start tak­ing the Chan­tix to­mor­row morn­ing, smoke for a week and throw the cig­a­rettes away and dou­ble the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
As­sis­tant: All you want, I’ll be a com­plete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on in­ter­com: Every­one, you have the next 2 months off: as­sis­tant is go­ing to be a big­ger bitch than usu­al.

Foun­tain Val­ley, Cal­i­for­nia