Know-it-all pe­on: I swear, every in­ven­tion in this world was in­vent­ed for war. High­ways, the In­ter­net — every­thing! Don’t you read?
La­dy pe­on: Okay, Er­ic*! What about perms? Hot rollers weren’t made for war!
Know-it-all pe­on: Perms aren’t in­ven­tions.
La­dy pe­on: My ass, they aren’t!

Wa­ter­loo, Iowa