Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.

Sandwich shop
South Carolina