Woman: I want­ed to find out the sta­tus of the in­ves­ti­ga­tion on my stolen bike. It hap­pened three weeks ago, and I haven’t heard back.
Cop: Well, ma’am, we’ve been busy with the or­ange alert.
Woman: I’m sor­ry — or­ange alert?
Cop: Ma’am, we’re in a war.
Woman: A war?!
Cop: The war with Iraq?
Woman: … You mean the fuck­ing Iraqis stole my bike?!

Wash­ing­ton, DC