New chef: I got­ta take a dump.
Wait­er: There’s no toi­let seat in the em­ploy­ee bath­room.
New chef: Dude, I just got out of jail af­ter five years. I could shit in a pick­le buck­et in the mid­dle of our din­ing room and it would­n’t both­er me.

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du