Flight at­ten­dant: … We don’t ex­pect a change in cab­in pres­sure, but if it does oc­cur, a de­sign­er oxy­gen mask will be re­leased in front of you. Se­cure the mask on your­self first, then, if you are trav­el­ing with chil­dren, put a mask on the child with the most po­ten­tial, then put a mask on the oth­er one…
Moth­er pas­sen­ger: [Gasps, horrified.]Flight at­ten­dant: … This is a non-smok­ing flight, but if you do de­cide to smoke, we will have you re­seat­ed on the wing of the plane where you can watch our fea­ture pre­sen­ta­tion of Bye Bye Birdie or Gone with the Wind

South­west Air­lines flight from Kansas City, Mis­souri, to Tam­pa, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca