Assistant #1: Hey, is this guy dead? I went to the site for the university where he works and he’s not mentioned anywhere on it.
Assistant #2: Um… I don’t know. It’s been a while. Maybe he’s retired. Or yeah, dead.
Assistant #1: If he’s dead, I don’t have to send him anything, right?
Assistant #2: Well, you should probably check all the local obituaries just to be sure.

Baltimore, MD