Em­ploy­ee #1: I left ear­ly yes­ter­day be­cause I was sick. I think there’s some bad dress­ing in the fridge.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Why did you eat that? That was from 2009!
Em­ploy­ee #1: Why did you leave a note say­ing any­one could eat it? Are you try­ing to poi­son every­one?!

Wheaton, IL