Legal receptionist: I would like to offer you the benefit of my new found wisdom and advise you on something you should never do.
Law clerk: What's that?
Legal receptionist: Never, after you have decided you are dissatisfied with the performance of your exfoliating body cream and scrubby sponge thingy, decide to replace said scrubby thingy with your pumice stone. I did this a week ago and my legs still look like I went wading through a sea of angry cats yesterday.
Law clerk: That is totally something I would do so actually, so thanks!
Legal receptionist: At least, don't do it if you are planing on wearing a skirt anytime in the next month. I'm pretty sure no one will believe that it's part of the pattern on your tights.