Young hipster : You all should come to this CD release party! You too, Sue*, I’ll even buy you a Shirley Temple!
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker: I don’t drink.
Hipster: But it’s non-alcoholic!
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker: I said I don’t drink, I don’t drink non-alcoholic!
Hipster, confused: But, uh… There’s no alcohol in it.
Old fashioned, anal retentive co-worker, getting irate: I don’t care! I won’t drink it!

St. Louis, Missouri