At­trac­tive fe­male em­ploy­ee: Hey Steve*, do you have some­thing hard that I can suck on to keep me awake?
Steve*, af­ter 15 sec­ond pause and in dis­be­lief: Jane*, you re­al­ly don’t know how long I have been wait­ing for you to ask me that.
At­trac­tive fe­male em­ploy­ee, turn­ing red: I meant did you have can­dy, like Jol­ly Ranch­ers or some­thing.

San Luis Obis­bo, Cal­i­for­nia